“There are two kinds of fears: rational and irrational- or in simpler terms, fears that make sense and fears that don't.”
~Lemony Snicket
I'm afraid of falling from high heights.
I'm afraid of failing to achieve my biggest goals.
We all have fears. Fears make us human. However, fears also make us vulnerable. That could either be good or bad. The positive side is we might be more willing to open up to people with similar fears. The negative side is we might completely shut ourselves out from others and let our fears control our lives and make us anxious and miserable.
Maybe you're one of those people who acts as though you don't fear anything. For now, I'll say "good for you." I'll also say "I don't believe you," but I'm not looking for a debate. As for me, I've had a number of fears all my life. I was afraid of the dark for the longest time, I developed a fear of heights and airplanes a few years ago, I was afraid of meaningless death (I know, that's dark), and I've been afraid of spiders almost my entire life. Some might argue these fears are irrational, and those people may be right. In addition to these concerns, I have developed more reasonable worries over the past several years, such as whether or not I will find a job, have a place to live, get married, pay off tuition bills in a decent amount of time, and the like. If you're under 16 and reading this, you're probably not dwelling on these too much. If you're over 30 years old, you've probably already gotten over these, but you understand the rationality of my apprehension.
As we get older, our fears become more logical and in-line with those around us. In some cases, people hold on to those illogical fears a bit longer. At first, fear is used as a coping mechanism for what we don't understand. Unfortunately, some people don't grow out of this fear of a lack of knowledge and remain ignorant (not unlike some political figures whose names I won't mention here). They decide to avoid and hate certain peoples and ideas simply because they choose not to understand. This is part of the reason why stereotypes and discrimination exist. I implore you to learn more about what you fear to perhaps grow more tolerant of what scares you. I'm certainly not an exception to this, but I am more than willing to educate myself and others if that could lead to an increase of respect among everyone.
Some of our fears act like a plague, affecting our health and self-esteem and having a negative impact on our day-to-day interactions. I mentioned I once had a fear of a meaningless death. Sometimes this fear would just pop up out of nowhere (like those eye floaters), and other times, it would be brought on by something I read or watched. I was scared to think that all life is so short, and some people may never get to do everything they dreamed of doing before their sand ran down. I couldn't imagine leaving the people I loved or them leaving me. Often, I would always assume I was dying when I would get more sick than usual. I once convinced myself I had appendicitis (I didn't). All of these unnecessary thoughts would cloud my mind, and I often became anxious and worried.
I know, this is starting to sound a bit depressing. I'm not certain when these thoughts were finally dissipated. When I think about them now, I'm reminded how ignorant I was being. I realize the importance of living every day to the fullest and other cliches like that. In all seriousness, there are worse things happening in the world that need my attention, and I can't waste my time worrying only about myself. Sure, I'm not going to be around forever, but I should appreciate this opportunity of life and do something important out of the time I have left, however long. Our fears are minuscule compared to the issues occurring every day that we don't know about. We may deny it, but we have the time to enlighten ourselves and others on ideas we don't understand. We can learn more about why we fear what we fear and strengthen our minds and hearts, and maybe grow less afraid.
I don't know if I will ever stop being afraid of spiders and centipedes or falling, but my life won't falter from these fears. I also won't allow my fear of failing at my goals to control me. I guess my plan is to continue my life in a way that works for me and see where that takes me. Maybe I'll help a person or two along the way to see the bigger picture and lead them to discover that fear is not physical and cannot and should not dominate us.
“Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself.”
~ J.K. Rowling
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