Starting Over...

"Many places I have been. Many sorrows I have seen,
But I don't regret, nor will I forget all who took that road with me."

~Billy Boyd

I'm not a writer. The mere thought of having someone read my atrocious expository essays or research papers makes me anxious. Yet, here I am, and there you are (maybe). I wanted to put into words my feelings in light of recent events in my life.

For starters, I graduated magna cum laude from university on May 14th with a Bachelor's degree in Communication Studies, minoring in Digital Media Production and Global Communication. Four surprisingly short years ultimately led me to receive a sheet of paper in a fancy frame. Trust me, I enjoyed my college experience. I just didn't realize how quickly eight semesters would soar. I'm content with my major, I did decent in all of my classes, and I've gained a great wealth of knowledge before being thrown out into the real world. The "real world," where you learn some of the greatest responsibilities. The "real world," in which I temporarily remain unemployed . The "real world," a place to begin again, to start over.

The "done-with-school-forever" feeling is sinking in ever so slowly, and the future is closer than four years ago. I am still trying to grasp these ideas. One of the biggest concerns of mine is the possibility of fading friendships. I was never "popular" in high school, but I always had a small, tight-knit group of friends. Coming to college was a new experience. No one was "popular." All of those cliques from high school were gone. Nearly everyone was forced to start fresh, which might have seemed overwhelming with the tens of thousands of students at my particular university. Somehow, I managed to find a group whom would greatly influence my life. I was introduced to a church group in my denomination. My church back home never did much in terms of youth ministry, so I wasn't sure what to expect.  During the first week of classes, the organization held a Welcome-Back barbecue, an event where I would meet some of the people to which I have become very close. All of the students involved seemed so warm and welcoming. Who would have guessed a game of corn-hole or life-size chess would reveal some of the best relationships I've ever had? Over the years, more students would become part of this group, and more bonds would form. Unfortunately, graduation is inevitable (unless you drop out), and many of these bonds have become weaker due to people moving away or severing their ties with their undergraduate friends.

This is what worries me the most. Of course I plan to invite my close friends to my wedding (if/when that ever happens); however, it's impossible to predict how many of us remain close. Some want to live and work near their alma mater. Some want to go back home. Some want to move to an entirely different part of the country (such as myself). Sure, we have Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram, email, and texting, but there is still a part of those relationships that dissolves when people consider "liking" a status as keeping in touch with friends and family. I'm not a special case in this instance, but it's always in the back of my head. I think about this all the time, especially when I see people who I once labeled as my best friends going off and disconnecting from their old friends. Is this inevitable? Is this a personality thing? Do people become too busy for friends when they find full-time jobs and gain more responsibilities? I overthink a bit too much, but someone has to, right?

The future isn't set in stone, at least, not any stone we will ever get to see. I suppose the best course of action is to make the effort. If someone means a great deal to you, you will probably do anything in your power to maintain that tie. I haven't the slightest clue what will happen to me or my friends in the next 10 years, but I am positive the memories I made with them will never leave my mind and heart.

For many people, post-graduation is a time to begin anew. For me, I can start as a new, knowledgeable person. I can start a new life with a new job, new goals, and maybe eventually a new family. The decision belongs to each of us. I would suggest we always remember the people and places that have molded us into who we are at this very moment. I'm starting over, but I'm not necessarily losing what I had before.

"And though, where the road then takes me, I cannot tell.
We came all this way, but now comes the day to bid you farewell."